Why wont my dog listen to me?

The doorbell rings, and your dog starts barking and charges the door. You somehow manage to get them out of the way, and put your hand on the door nob. Before you open the door, you turn to your dog: "Sit! Bella, sit!" Bella slowly moves her way into a sit...that is...until you open the door. You are frustrated, because you KNOW Bella knows how to "sit." Nonetheless, you give up, not wanting to leave your guest waiting at the door and you’re worried Bella might bolt out. You apologize to your guest and let them in, feeling embarrassed and frustrated.

Sound familiar?

Many dog owners feel frustrated because they think their dog ignores their commands.

Why is this happening?

Your dog doesn't REALLY know what the command means.

Let's continue with the same behavior as above, "sit." You probably think, "sit" is SIMPLE, I know my dog knows what that means! I tell him/her to sit before I feed meals, and when I give treats. I even say "sit" before I throw them the ball. Sure, maybe your dog knows that "sit" means to put their butt on the ground. But, for how long? When can they get up from their sit? Do you let them get up and walk away after they take their treat, or after you ask for a high-five? Do you say "sit," chuck their ball, and let them go run and get it without releasing them? If so, there's a good chance that your dog thinks "sit" is a temporary position, and not something that they need to stay in until you tell them otherwise.

In some cases, people use commands that their dog doesn’t understand at all, like “heel.” Before our dogs can listen to our commands, we need to thoroughly teach them what they mean, and this is a multi-faceted process!

Your dog hasn't practiced the command enough (“generalization”)

What does generalization mean? Let me briefly explain generalization using an example that us humans can easily understand:

Let's say you are at school, and learning what 2+2 means. You see 2+2 on the whiteboard, the projector, and the book in front of you. When you go home, you take out your homework and see it on the paper your teacher gave you. You know that 2+2 on any surface and at any location is the same thing.

Well, a dog would have a difficult time with this. And not just because they aren't natural mathematicians. Dogs do NOT naturally understand that "sit" when you are holding their food bowl above their head is the same thing as "sit" when they are barking their heads off because FedEx is at the door. Your dog may "sit" perfectly in the house, and even stay in a sit at the house, but when you are outside of Pete's coffee and another dog walks buy, your dog doesn't even seem to HEAR you speaking to them. This is usually not "disobedience," but most likely because your dog hasn't been trained to perform their obedience commands in different, especially difficult or exciting situations.

You aren’t using training tools that can help you.

Dogs, like humans, need to understand boundaries—what are they allowed to do, and what are they not allowed to do? If you’re taking your dog out on their flat collar or a harness, and your dog hasn’t received any proper leash training, you dont have an effective way to communicate to your dog when you want them to stop doing certain behaviors, and support them to do alternative behaviors. Many dogs are not motivated by food when they around a lot of distractions. So what are you supposed to do if all you have to work with is food, and your dog doesn’t want it? We can’t bribe our dogs through life—they need to be able to do things when they don’t want to—like come to us when we call them instead of chasing a cat down the street. If you don’t have certain tools in your toolbox, you simply cannot have reliability from your dog, because they think listening to commands is optional.

So, before you yell at Bella for blowing you off and let yourself feel like a failure, remember there are multiple reasons why your dog may not listen to a command you give them. All you need is some help and training!

Please don’t get an e-collar or prong collar and try to use them yourself—while they are essential in cultivating off-leash reliability with your dog, teaching a dog how to understand training tools should be approached with care, thoughtfulness, education, and skill.